It’s good to be recognized.
And some days, P.H. is reminded that work is really just “work.” Mr. Boss returned from his extended NYC trip, and while the pace has picked up a little, P.H. is still doing plenty of her own work. In addition to editing a book and recovering from a trip to Beirut, P.H. got to attend a treat today.
What, might you ask, would that be?
For NO REASON WHATSOEVER and at an expense of $100USD, the senior E.A. decided we needed to do a full tasting of the dinner the company is having tomorrow evening. So, P.H. just spend the past hour eating salmon, steak, and a delicious desert at no cost to her.
For tomorrow’s event, in accordance with what is haram, there will be no alcohol served, so P.H. is going to hit the bar directly after work for some social lubricant before sitting through a completely unnecessary dinner.
A Monday gem from the Hater.
The tea boy brings her Ramen (which we can buy from the little canteen which is approximately 10 feet away from her desk).
Her response? “Can you make this?”
To note, the kitchen is an additional 5 feet from the canteen.
He goes to presumably make the lunch. When he returns with the Ramen, she lets it stand – then when he comes back in to our office, she asks him to put it in a bowl. Three. Separate. Requests. All for a bowl of noodles.
P.H. cannot make this stuff up (although she wishes she was).
P.H. wonders, what do you look at all day long at work? Is it a desk? Are you outside? In retail?
If you are at a computer, what do you have as your home screen? Kittehs? Personal photos? Some scenic landscape or vista?
If you are the Hater, you have…
A picture of the Crown Prince of Dubai.
Don’t get P.H. wrong, HRH is a handsome dude, but really? At work, where everyone can see your screen, why this choice? Does the Hater dream of a time when HRH will swoop down to the rented office space, whisk in to the 19th floor, and take the mullet far far away?
You’ll have to excuse P.H. as she is in a jovial mood – she is departing on a well earned trip to Beirut in a few hours!
P.H. worked late last night. And by ‘worked’ she means ‘stayed after 6PM waiting for it to be 7PM so she could meet a friend and they could take advantage of the ladies night in the bar downstairs (free champagne and fresh kettle chips, yes please!).’ While waiting, she was supposed to be editing a book, but was distracted (cornered) by one of the tea boys.
As mentioned, the Hater was in a more foul mood than usual yesterday and the unwilling participant of her rage was Tea Boy. P.H. had to intervene because the Hater had done enough yelling without good reason. In doing so, P.H. made a new friend.
Seconds after the Hater left the office, the Tea Boy came in and laid it out for P.H. Apparently, no one in the office likes the Hater. No one. There were many examples shared and multiple reasons why, but suffice to say, P.H. is not off base in her dislike for the Hater.
Yesterday was a good day.
So, the Hater got hated on this morning by her respective bosses – no surprise there, she doesn’t do much for them, and when she does it is with a sour face, a bad attitude, and a general level of well, what else? Hating.
It is examples like the following that show the Hater’s lack of proactivity and general dislike of all others. From P.H.’s Junior Boss to P.H. and Hater:
“Puppy and I need a ride to today. If Driver is available, that would work, if not then please arrange for Taxi (Hater knows) to pick us up at 1:30pm.”
Pop quiz, hot shots, what do you think the Hater’s response was?
a) To ignore the email entirely, as P.H. would obviously sort things out
b) To respond with the only the details required
c) To turn over a new leaf – and take the initiative to CALL THE TAXI COMPANY HERSELF
d) To play with her mullet
e) To type loudly with her fake nails on the keyboard as if she would like to destroy the device
If you guessed (b), you were correct…although (e) is also semi-correct.
Literally, P.H. received a 1 line e-mail with the contact details only. As there is so very little to do in the office, P.H. has no trouble calling, but knows it would be such a nice gesture if the Hater had taken the one minute to make the call herself.
Where P.H. used to work, there was an overwhelming ‘do it yourself’ mentality. Cleaning up, binding, printing, coordinating, etc. At the new office, this could not be further from the case. New company employs two ‘tea boys’ (men who are around solely to fetch coffee, make copies, get visitors, wait for FedEx, deliver and get the mail, etc.) and a driver. P.H., not used to this level of service, is very appreciative of their help (always using ‘please’ and ‘thank you’), but retains the ability to get out of her seat and get a glass of water.
The others in the office have no such problem.
On a daily basis, P.H. watches as the Hater CALLS the tea boy who sits DIRECTLY OUTSIDE THE OFFICE. Because, apparently, getting off of one’s ass is too difficult. She asks him for tea / coffee / lunch heating / water. It is very important to note, all of the above are no less than 10 feet away. And yet, these are not the worst transgressions.
1. Scanning. After calling someone who sits less than 10 feet away, the Hater requests Tea Boy to scan something. She is within arms length of the scanner. P.H. cringes and usually has to leave the office.
2. Fetching. When the lunch cart comes upstairs, P.H. watches as the Hater does not find anything she deems worthy for a meal. Rather than take one elevator ride downstairs to the cafeteria, the Hater gives money to the Tea Boy to do this most menial of tasks.
P.H. wishes, for one day, the Hater could experience how the rest of the world functions. She also wonders how to stop everyone in the office from participating in similar behavior.
Sometimes it is fun to work with E.A.’s in this region. Other times, it is super frustrating. Most times, P.H. just has to sit back and laugh.
P.H. called a few minutes ago to ask, “Can we please move the call forward? Mr. Boss is in the U.S.”
“Sure – how far behind are the States? 4 hours?”
P.H. suppressed a chortle. Scheduling calls with different countries is practically commonplace here, so the suggestion that the U.S. is a mere 4 hours behind shows that the nice woman P.H. is speaking with has little to no understanding of geography.
P.H. has never been blessed with a particularly good hairstyle, but her hair has always been, at the minimum, functional. While perpetually two weeks behind on getting her roots touched up, P.H. can usually pull something together.
Snarking on other ladies is not something P.H. generally agrees with, but she can’t help herself with the Hater. Outwardly, the Hater is fit and healthy, but there is one undeniable fact.
She has a mullet.
There are two completely distinct lengths of hair on her head.
For an ‘event’ a few weeks previously, the Hater and Previous EA Who Had P.H.’s job left work considerably early to “get their hair done.” P.H. was excited, because a) it got the others out of the small and cramped office, but mostly b) she wanted to see if the mullet would look different when it was styled.
Unfortunately, even with a wash and blow dry, it was still very much a mullet.
What do you work next to every day? Anything interesting?