Archive | September, 2010

What’s in a name?

28 Sep

Although the keys on a Blackberry are small, in nearly 1 out of 3 e-mails, Mr. Boss spells P.H.’s name wrong.

P.H. hopes the next EA will have an easier name to spell.


Awkward, Party of 12.

27 Sep

So, there are some inherently weird things going on at the new office:

1.       The rather blue LED lights which serve no purpose and generally create an atmosphere of pathetic discotheque near the entrance.

2.       The fact that P.H. has been asked to record the greeting for the phone message.  Repeatedly.  P.H. could care less about the absolute minute details and versions of making this recording.  Furthermore, she has no idea why the RECEPTIONIST (the Hater) would not be asked to fulfill this duty.  In addition, P.H. WILL NOT WORK HERE MUCH LONGER, but apparently, her voice will go on (and on).

3.       There is a giant hole in the floor outside one of the offices.

And yet we moved anyway.

4.       As everything was supposed to be made soundproof, rather the opposite has happened and it is quite easy to hear other’s conversations throughout the office.

5.     The puppies (who P.H. now shares an office with) have complained about the following (thus far – total time in office is less than 15 hours):

  • Lack of coffee providers
  • Lack of food providers
  • How long the food takes to arrive when ordered
  • How long it takes to park
  • The positioning of their desks
  • The air conditioning

...? P.H. cannot understand their function. It's a bit like working in an aquarium.


26 Sep

While P.H. has been impressed with Mr. Boss and his transition to the new office, she was glad when a blog-worthy moment happened today with one of the Puppies.  (For the record, P.H. has moved out of the closet and is now in a slightly bigger closet with the Investment Team.  Fortunately, she has escaped the Hater, the Talker, and the Mumbler and could not be happier with her new digs.)

When figuring out how to dial on the new phones, one of the Puppies was nearly outraged when he realized he would have to start dialing ’04’ (this is the prefix for all local Dubai numbers).

He literally said, “What do you mean we have to dial 04?!”

Sigh.  Another day at the office.


22 Sep

There are very few things in BSCG’s day that truly make her laugh out loud, but the latest manifestation of the ex-Boss’s crazy is truly one of them.  We all have to deal with SPAM from time to time and sometimes SPAM sneaks through the filters… it is an inevitable part of life.  Most normal people would hit delete and move on with their lives – not ex-Boss – such is his hatred of SPAM he insists on sharing it with the rest of us.  It is not enough that BSCG has to read 100 emails a day from EB she now has the pleasure of receiving his SPAM as well…

Different kind of spam, same idea.

The gloves are off.

22 Sep

P.H. knew Mr. Boss was going to act out.  Last night things got started with inane e-mails about his flights to London (P.H. had previously sent him 2 e-mails on the subject) and returning his checks (P.H. is surprised he remembered she had them).  Then, there was this gem from earlier today…

HI P.H. and Hater,

Have you both looked at my calendar for tomorrow?  Do you guys notice that obviously I can’t be in three* places at the same time?  Hater I have repeatedly** asked you to consult with P.H. when I am to be in a meeting with the Puppies.  I would appreciate better coordination.



All Mr. Boss had to do is pick up the phone to get clarification from P.H. about how tomorrow afternoon is going to work.

And in tomorrow’s struggle, P.H. and Co. are moving offices!!!  She awaits the disaster and stress with glee.


21 Sep

P.H. received her new offer this morning, and has just finished meeting with Mr. Boss to officially quit.  He took it (initially) much better than expected.

She’ll have to work the whole month as a notice period, but…in all honesty, that’s fair.

Today has been a roller coaster.

It's all rainbows from here!

And then the day is better…

20 Sep

Although The Firm let P.H. go, now, after nearly 8 months, she recalls them fondly.  She remembers normal co-workers and a lot of people working towards a common goal.  She recalls when people acted (mostly) normal, and her colleagues were educated friends who usually wanted to help out.  Sure, there was office politics and the usual bullshit, but it was nothing compared to Mr. Boss and his temper tantrums.

Also, for references, there is this from the current Firm Managing Director and P.H.’s former boss:

"P.H. is a gem. Don't miss out on her."

When being passive agressive works.

20 Sep

P.H. is ANXIOUSLY awaiting a new job offer, but while she waits, some updates from the goings-on in her completely dysfunctional office.

Yesterday, she had an impromptu ‘pow-wow’ with Mr. Boss about the fact she did not schedule a personal call over the weekend.  She attempted to make it clear that she was hired as an Executive Assistant and not Personal Assistant in Charge of Sending Reminders to Wipe Ass.  She made P.H. aware of how much personal work he was generating and how she had not been made aware of this in the interview.  Mr. Boss claimed he saw no difference between personal and professional work.  Mr. Boss blamed and sobbed and ranted about how much he worked on the weekends.  P.H. knows he makes at least 17x a month what she does, and wanted to remind him that these were all *his* choices.  She wanted to gently tell him it was not her fault he neglected to do any of his personal work / finances during the MONTH he was off of work.  And then, the best – they came to an agreement that P.H. would consider *if* she wanted to do this sort of work any further and give him an answer soon.

P.H. knows she doesn’t want to do this work.  P.H. was trying to buy herself time to wait for the new job.

When the meeting ended, Mr. Boss said, in the tone of a petulant 8 year old, “Well, don’t do personal work any more.”

And then he walked away.

Knowing she will hopefully be quitting in the very near future, P.H. smiled at his retreating figure.

Today, Mr. Boss completely forgot about his request not to do personal work and requested P.H. look up the prices of 3 different airlines round trip tickets to London for the Piece.  P.H., as requested, did so.  Then after a series of exchanges received this from the Piece.

Dear both,

That’s ok, I’ll deal with my own flights from now on as I want to avoid misunderstandings such as the Paris flights wrong timings. Besides, booking online is cheaper that doing it through the travel agency.

This is the first P.H. is hearing of any Paris issues.  However, in a way, she had always meant for something like this to happen.  She has intentionally made it more and more difficult to book personal travel for Mr. Boss and the Piece.  While she was unaware there was any ‘wrong timings,’ in a way she could not be happier.  And at the same time, this makes her very sad.  Before this place, P.H. had a lot of pride in her work.  In five short months, she has gone from absolute control to real apathy about what happens and when.

Hopefully, all this is changing within the next couple of hours!

Weekend work.

19 Sep

Why was this call not set up?

What Mr. Boss does not understand is that one of the many reasons P.H. chooses to be an EA is so she does not have to work on weekends.  In the world of P.H., the weekend begins at 6PM on Thursday evenings, and ends at 10AM on Sunday.  Furthermore, the ‘set up’ of the call was in no way complicated.  There was no dial in details, no passcode – merely one person calling another.  For a man who manages multi-millions, she has to wonder how the basics of calling another person escape him.

If Mr. Boss would like to step up P.H.’s pay by a 20% – 25%, then she would consider dealing with his bullshit on weekends, but hopefully, after tomorrow, she won’t have to.

Also, to mention, the call was one of a personal nature, and in no way related to the company.

Happy Sunday everyone!

16 Sep

Can you kindly call XXXX?   Please tell Mr. Architect he built the library/entertainment system for me.  Can you please tell him we need him for another project and I want to speak with him?  I have been trying to call him but can’t get through.  Thanks.

He copies the Piece on this e-mail.  P.H. wonders how this conversation will go with Mr. Architect  – she has no idea what Mr. Boss and the Piece want to add to their home.

Personally, P.H. would request this for Mr. Boss.