Archive | August, 2011

“You know how I know you’re pregnant?”

29 Aug

Upon returning from her shotgun wedding, the Belgian has worn the same identical sack dress for the past 4 days straight.  PH grows irritated with the shenanigans of hiding a pregnancy.  She wishes her colleague could grow some ethics and just tell everyone she’s knocked up and due in January or February.

Only nowhere near this trendy.

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Last pointless meeting / potential dream job.

29 Aug

Although it was difficult, PH sat through the last pointless meeting with the Director today.  However, in a wonderful twist of  fate, the Director will be out of town for the remainder of PH’s work in the UAE.  PH could not be more elated.   Well, she could be if she gets a call back for a potential dream job in Qatar.  With the move scheduled to go down in the next 4-6 weeks, PH is already looking for a next subject of this blog job.

She hopes the next 3 weeks will pass by easily and without hassle!

No patience.

25 Aug

PH has just sat through the SEVENTH version of the same meeting conducted by The Director.

In approximately 11 months, little to no progress has been made.  Less than a month to go!

The Belgian is back…with a bump.

24 Aug

PH is not going to have children.  That’s her choice.  Should she ever want to, she would CERTAINLY let her employer know**, mostly because she believes this is the fair and ethical thing to do.  So, the Belgian is now back from her wedding and honeymoon.  Her poor fashion choices previously could not be trumped by the literal sack she wore to the office today.  What was previously ill fitting, PH now believes was an attempt to hide the very obvious fact that the Belgian is between 4-5 months pregnant.

Has the Belgian divulged this information to anyone?

No.

PH expects an announcement any day.

Or you just can't dress yourself.

**PH can understand why the Belgian would remain quiet about being pregnant while engaged (in the UAE it is illegal to be knocked up without being married!!), but now that she’s a married woman (shot gun wedding!), she needs to come clean.

Light at the end of the tunnel.

21 Aug

PH’s Hubs has finally confirmed that his move to Qatar is going to happen!  As excited as she is to move on to new challenges, PH has the ugly task of resigning.

She does not think things will go well tomorrow with the Director.  Keep those fingers crossed!

It's there - I can see it!

KPIs (shudder).

18 Aug

Although PH hates acronyms, she realizes there is a corporate side to everything.  There is a need to measure our work and be held accountable.  What does not enter the equation is the ineptitude of the Director.  She recently released the KPIs for the department.  PH wonders how much she has thought through these indicators.  If the Director thought through her actions, she would realize that she is setting herself up for a colossal failure.

Case in point – retention of staff members (no less than turn over of 10%).  If PH leaves (like she plans to do), then this task will immediately be made impossible.

Again, with the specific fonts.

15 Aug

Passive Aggressive Coordinator who is leaving (PH will be rid of her in mere days – rejoice!), has this gem today.  PH formatted a CV, but it was not…

1.  Calibri

2.  11 font

3.  Borders of 2cm

Because, you know, the client will not be able to read a document that is Garamond 12 font with normal formatting.  That would just be silly.

Office Space.

10 Aug

Guess how awesome PH’s office is at planning?  Because of long delayed construction, there are only 2 private places in an office of 30.  One is the MD’s office (currently occupied by the Ginger because the Director kicked him out of her empire) and the other is the board room.  When both are in use THERE IS NO PLACE EMPLOYEES ARE ALLOWED TO EAT.

For the love of God, just let us eat.

PH is a wee bit hypoglycemic and is currently VERY HUNGRY.

 

No heating food.

10 Aug

So, PH works in a Muslim country.  It’s currently Ramadan.  She’s worked in offices in the past during this time and never had any issues.  She respects others are fasting.  What she does not understand is why she cannot heat up her food.  It’s not like PH is planning to go up to her Muslim colleagues and snarf food directly in their faces.  Instead, she’s resigned to a month of cold food, no eating or drinking at her desk, fluctuating blood sugar, and dehydration headaches.

FORBIDDEN!!!

There is some silver lining – she can leave every day at 3PM!