Archive | May, 2012

Don’t worry, P.H. will do it.

30 May

The HR department had a “retreat” yesterday.*  P.H. was naturally irritated.   At the top of her list?  The continuing assumption by her entire department that she will be responsible for everything.

– Agenda that was circulated 3x, but no one wanted to give input or confirm?  Agenda that she was told, ‘don’t worry, we’re just going to talk about goals’?  That Agenda?  First five minutes, the Director: “Where is the agenda?”

– The Director’s Assistant, who PH pushed for hiring, came ill prepared – no computer, only a notepad.  Never checked in on how she could help P.H. prepare or assist.

– No one thought to bring their own laptop, only P.H.

– No one thought to bring a zip drive, only P.H.

The retreat is part of a larger, ongoing issue that P.H. will just naturally take care of everything.  She’s starting to resent the feeling.

Unacceptable meeting behavior.

28 May

P.H. hates meetings – they are usually a waste of time and mostly information that could be communicated via e-mail, semaphore, carrier pigeon or SMS.  However, when in a meeting, P.H. follows certain protocol and pretends to be engaged, occupied, and interested.  Not so for EXBFM.  Yesterday in the weekly staff meeting she played Solitaire on her phone throughout the ENTIRE meeting.

I know we’re not as interesting, but you could at least pretend.

Does not translate.

27 May

“I am a University Fresher.”

This statement was listed under career objectives of a CV P.H. is reviewing.  P.H. realizes English is not everyone’s first language, but she cannot understand what it is a ‘fresher’ is or does.

Not off to a killer start.

27 May

When P.H. makes the case to hire people, she thinks optimistically.  She wants to think the best of people – that they will be the person they were in the interview – that they will be model colleagues and professionals.

Enter, Candidate X.  P.H. is done with her, and it’s only her first day.  In a 48 hour period she:

1. Nagged about the offer.

2. Complained not once, not twice, not three time – but four or more about the verbage in the offer letter.

3.  Confirmed she would start and then not less than one hour before then end of the work week, called to say she would be late on her first day (P.H. nipped that scenario).

4.  Called P.H. at least 5 times in a 20 minute period about going back and forth for her start date and time.

Upon coming to the office this morning, the candidate:

1.  Forgot her passport (the ONE thing she really needed to bring in).  No, a national ID will not suffice – that is why P.H. said, ‘please bring your passport.’

2.  Took nearly 45 minutes to fill out 15 minutes of paperwork

3.  Was continually dense.

 

P.H. hopes that things can only get better.  P.H. also realizes her frustrations with this role go back to the fact her Supervisor has continually fucked up for the past month.*

*more on this topic later.

This is relevent.

24 May

Walk-Ins – the WRONG way to job hunt.

22 May

So, a nice young lady just walked into PH’s office looking for a job.  This event happens roughly once a week and every time it happens PH’s soul gets a bit further crushed and she weeps a bit more for the next generation every time it does.  This young woman did not want a job at the School where PH is in HR, instead, she wanted a job at the larger organization that grants the School to operate in country. Yes, that’s correct – she wandered aimlessly into an HR department for a company she did NOT want to work for.

PH has absolutely no idea what jobs they have available.  Furthermore, she has no idea where they are even located.  She attempted to inform the wide-eyed young woman that a ‘google’ search of the larger organization’s website would be a good place to start.  She gave helpful hints, that perhaps this young woman should research her potential future employer and the jobs they have available.  Additionally, bringing one’s CV would also be a good place to start.

The entitlement of these potential ‘candidates’ regularly shocks PH.  These people are genuinely bewildered every time when there is not a job waiting to be handed to them, when they walk in not having done any research on the School, what positions are open, or even asking to see if PH is busy.  They literally just barge in and start talking.  The behavior is unprofessional, irritating, and the worst practice imaginable.

PH would like to attach this sign to her door.

PH weeps for this generation.

Why P.H. doesn’t like to do nice things.

21 May

It is a colleague’s birthday today in her department.  PH kindly offered to order pizza for everyone.  Due to a meeting running over, she placed the order a bit later than she originally planned.  When Ex-Boyfriend’s Mom comes out of another meeting demanding, “Where’s my pizza?” and the comments to another colleague, “We’re fine, but we’re hungry” and the parameters are still well within the hours of lunch for an order she didn’t have to place, money she didn’t have to collect and pizza she won’t have to go fetch, PH wants to say “Fuck you, you don’t get pizza and it is because of your behavior I will never be kind enough to order again.”

Oops, now she paid for PH’s pizza and PH feels bad.

But then she said, “Who ordered this?” after the group had a 3 minute discussion about thin crust vs. regular crust.  Kill PH now.

We need this at work.

6 May

Life would be better.

Troll Feet.

3 May

PH realizes that genetics graces certain people differently.  However, for features that are less than compatible with the general public, PH suggests covering those parts up.  Nowhere is this more apparent than the troll feet of EXBFM.  PH did not initially notice the feet  – but now cannot look away when they are presented on a nearly daily basis.  PH refuses to wear sandals if she doesn’t have a pedicure, why won’t EXBFM do the same???

How would you concentrate in a meeting?

Kettles – the wonderous alternative to microwaves.

3 May

Although PH loves her new office, she hates the location of it.  Directly across from the kitchen, she is constantly subjected to annoying sounds throughout the work day.  Her favorite comes from Ex-Boyfriend’s Mom.  Why?  Every morning, without fail, she proceeds to make whatever hot beverage by banging on the world’s loudest microwave.  Never mind there is an electronic kettle directly next to the microwave which, unless PH is mistaken, boils water for the intent of hot beverages.

Why would you use anything else?

Another gem from Ex-Boyfriend’s Mom this morning?  She requested PH to forward her an e-mail.  PH bit her tongue, not wanting to point out the obvious – that in the time it took EXBFM to walk to PH’s office, she could’ve sent the damn thing to herself.  Oh logic…