Archive | October, 2012

In which nothing can be easy.

24 Oct

After PH volunteered to make the pizza order today, Troll Feet responded with this gem.

Plain cheese pizza is fine for me. Mushrooms are usually canned, pineapple is offensive, pepperoni isn’t real so plain cheese pizza is fine! LOL

That’s right, ‘pineapple is offensive.’

Rude.

The PA PH hired is a knob.

23 Oct
Months ago, PH ‘helped’ found the perfect person to deal with the Director recruit an Assistant.  Naturally, a man with years of experience in HR chose someone who had never been an assistant before.  PH does not work closely with this person and knows the PA is closer to other PA’s in the School.  Still, on a weekly basis she receives idiot and easily answered e-mails from the PA.  With the last missive, she wants to say, “PA, you’re a grown ass woman who is more than capable of figuring this shit out.  Stop bothering me with information I don’t care about.  You’ve been here since April and it’s almost November.  Do you job and quit with the self deprecating shit.”

 

Time Management – Not a Secret.

22 Oct

It occurs to PH that both of the ‘senior managers’ in her department are completely lacking in their time management skills.  PH wonders, if you are going to be gone for nearly two weeks on vacation, why would you not, perhaps, come in over the weekend and make things easier on yourself?  If you are going to take up to 5-6 hours a week (or more) for ‘offsite’ appointments, then perhaps coming in early might be imperative to completing the necessary parts of your job in a timely fashion.

Running around and saying ‘there’s never enough time’ does not accomplish anything.

Similarly, to Troll Feet and her never ending quest to boss, delegate and make herself feel important has dicked around on getting an assistant that she doesn’t need at all.  PH is not entirely sure she likes where this department is headed – literally!  They have been relegated to the back corner of Finance.  Fun times.

No.

22 Oct

Troll Feet, you cannot call everyone ‘love.’  You are not British.  You do not have enough of a coolness factor to pull this off.  FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN – STOP REFERRING TO EVERYONE AS LOVE.

A PSA from P.H.

Has Troll Feet never been sick?

16 Oct

Troll Feet is not feeling well she had some sort of weird orgy over the weekend in Dubai and now has a cold.  She has approached PH for basic medicine before, only to act as if she has never taken OTC drugs in her life.  Today she asked if she should take both pills PH gave her from the pack.  PH sighs and wonders how a person reaches an age of 60+ and has no idea how to take medicine.

It’s pronounced ‘analgesic.’

All day e’ry day.

16 Oct

 

Considering PH is thinking of taking a “sick” day this week…

14 Oct

…she approves this article.

Absenteeism strikes the workplace: ‘Hunger Games’ blues, toe jammed in faucet and other bizarre sick-day excuses found in study

The shit hath hitteth the fan.

10 Oct

“Please note that I don’t think it is appropriate to discuss people’s salary or hourly rate by email. Of course I am already aware of what my staff earn. As for the recruitment request, I never saw it on the front end of this recruitment. Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”

– LSS

Lacking Social Skills has kerfluffled the hell out of a recruitment process PH is currently involved with.  The snarky e-mails (above being a perfect example) have been flying since yesterday.  PH, as a recruiter, wonders how exactly she is supposed to hire someone without mentioning what wage they will make or what they earn against others.  To sum up, PH now has verbal offers out to two employees and a hell a lot of politics to wade through before the actual hiring will take place.  PH wishes this week was over.

PH thinks she has good news…

9 Oct

…receives a slap.  PH recently did such a good job recruiting that not one, but two offers will be given.  PH relates this good news to the Director, receives slap.  She forgets how bad the politics are outside her department.

PH prays she does not have to rescind an offer – both candidates were super nice.

Recruitment Tips from PH.

3 Oct

PH has recently been recruiting for a role at the School.  Here are some do’s and don’t’s she feels compelled to share:

– make eye contact, looking at the paper in front of you instead of your interviewers does not instill a lot of engagement or confidence

– don’t bring a cup of half drunk coffee into your interview

– when the panel asks you the same question 3 separate ways, they really want a specific answer so don’t continue giving them vague ones

– never use the term ‘looking for the minimum amount’ of anything as it relates to interviewing for the position

– don’t be late.  Ever.

– don’t come across as a douche

– do smile

– do be on time