Archive | January, 2013

As the blanket rejections go out…

30 Jan

 “One thing i can guarantee is that, you will never get wrong with me on the board!”

One thing PH can guarantee is that you should capitalize ‘I’ in a sentence.

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Get the message, Troll Feet.

29 Jan

In a span of 12 hours, Troll Feet sent one text, called PH’s personal cell twice and her phone once.  As she does with the other inane jokes, forwards, and other forms of communication Troll Feet schleps her way, PH ignored all of them completely on purpose.  What was so important that Troll Feet couldn’t stop communicating?  A doctor’s appointment.  Does PH care?  Not even a little.  Would the first text have sufficed?  Absolutely.  Will PH continue to ignore Troll Feet?  Yes.  Will it do any good?  Probably not.

In VERY good news, Troll Feet’s new slave assistant starts on February 18th.  PH is counting down the days.

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Gif is unrelated but an accurate representation of PH’s feelings.

Mr. Vanilla Leaves the Nest

29 Jan

Work has been kind of crappy for PH this month, so she has a few things to get off her chest.

1.  Mr. Vanilla is leaving!  Thank the lords.  As soon as this was announced (and PH held her glee inside), she was pleased when her co-workers said, “Hey PH – you would be great for that role.”  For a period of two weeks, PH thought how wonderful it would be – she would finally be one of the haves and not the haven nots. She would get accommodation, a ticket home and a significant bump in pay.

2.  This is not the case.  The Director had a think and PH did not even enter into his tiny mind as a potential candidate.  Instead, he thought of one of the other ‘haves’ – Annoying Prep School.  Annoying Prep School ALREADY HAS EVERYTHING – HOW ABOUT SHARING SOMETIMES, DIRECTOR MAN?

3.  Thus, PH spent much of last week seriously questioning whether or not she wanted to even stay at the school.  If her hard work is obviously going to go unnoticed and she’ll never be up for a promotion, because there are no ways or means to move up at the School, then what the actual fuck is the point?

4.  PH might not still be over point 3.  She had a look at various roles around town and is in the market, but is still angry no one wants to do anything for her.

5.  Still, she is delighted that Mr. Vanilla is leaving and she doesn’t have to watch him slack across campus every day.

How not to respond to a template regret rejection.

29 Jan

Thank you for your “considerate” and professional reply.
Good luck with your “interesting” project.

Have a good day,

Candidate who will never work for the School

No.

9 Jan

Please review & comment b4 I send.

Please learn to write ‘before.’  PH begs, Troll Feet, you are writing from a keyboard.

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Interviewing w/Troll Feet.

9 Jan

Unsurprisingly, interviewing with Troll Feet is a special hell.  PH has sat in all sort of interviews in her life – but never one like this.  Troll Feet has close to 30 PAGES of questions.  Even better?  She jumps straight in – no warm up, no small talk, just straight to it.  Best of all?  She really grills the candidates – forcing them to give highly specific examples of mundane workplace things.  PH could understand if this was for an important position, but basically the ‘lucky’ candidate will be Troll Feet’s slave for 6 months (an assistant, not some high level officer).  Additionally, Troll Feet asks so many questions that the interview takes up most of an hour (it could easily be done in 30-45 minutes).  It’s so painful, that even though the new person will become part of the HR team, PH doesn’t want to sit through any additional interviews and doesn’t look forward to training a new person.

Additionally, the interviews did yield a ‘special’ candidate.  The crazy woman, an HR professional, gave numerous inappropriate examples, followed up too early and then tried to connect with PH on LinkedIn.  No.  No.  And No.

PH does not have patience for days like these.

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PH starts a busy year.

9 Jan

PH enjoyed a nice holidays – 2 weeks away from the School was a welcome treat.  She didn’t have to think or look at Troll Feet, or the rest of the crazies.

Coming back, she’s had some doozies:

1.  Dear Candidates, applying for a role more than once – especially over the holidays – is a sure fire way to annoy the HR team.

2.  Dear person I met one time at a girls night over a year ago, it’s nice you remember I work for something vaguely connected to what I actually work for, however, when I explicitly mention I’m in HR, don’t write this: ‘I would really appreciate if you could forward it to the HR Dept.’ Girlfriend, I just told you I’m in HR, so get off your duff and do some research of your own.  Also, when PH looks at your CV and sees you worked for major multi-national companies and you clearly ended up with NO contacts or networks, she gets worried.

3. Dear Candidate, even if energy does not come naturally to you, please do not show up and waste everyone’s time by speaking as if you are asleep.  You made PH look bad.

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Additionally fun times in posts ahead.