Archive | March, 2014

The amazing power of pencils.

31 Mar

Perhaps we’ve not established the fact that the Hypochondriac is on the spectrum.  She refuses eye contact with authority and she doesn’t pay attention.  She focuses on anything else.  When P.H.’s department has their usual weekly meeting, this usually forces the Hypochondriac to go through OCD habits, however, in a special meeting this week, she spent the entirety of the time focused on her very special 35 EUR Svarowksi pencils.  That’s right – one full hour of looking at below.

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Very fascinating. Much glitter. Such sparkle.

 

Co-dependent? You be the judge.

31 Mar

The Hypochondriac moved recently (which could be a complete string of posts, but we will not digress).

One of the most interesting facts that came out of the move was the fact that she was selling her washer/dryer unit (the one from her former flat).

The reason?

She doesn’t use it.

Why not?

HER MOM DOES ALL HER LAUNDRY.

Yup.

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Your mom’s cheaper.

Never mind that she is a grown ass woman in her thirties.

Nothing in moderation.

31 Mar

Everyone’s favorite co-worker, The Hypochondriac, was out last week.  One blissful quiet, stunning memorable week.

She showed up (late) yesterday with a cold.

How does P.H. know she’s sick?

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This provided a clue.  Of course, what else would you expect from a Hypochondriac?

In addition to the pharmacy she brought in, the ‘migraine’ that had her leave early (after her first day back after a month), the hunched over walking, the obvious ‘woe is me’ attitude and the veritable river of snot she’s producing, PH wishes her co-worker would’ve just stayed home (and on vacation).

 

What’s for breakfast?

9 Mar
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Vom city.

For the Hypochondriac, at least one day a week it’s mashed potatoes and ketchup!!!

 

Ordering clothes.

5 Mar

PH lives abroad, but can order things from the US and have them shipped over.  This is a privilege which, naturally, the Hypochondriac, upon learning about has completely, totally and utterly abused and PH feels will be stripped away at any moment due to her co-workers extreme online shopping habit.

In what form?

Ordering clothes.

Where from?

Where else?

Victoria’s Secret.

Yes, the place well known for UNDERWEAR is where she has ordered no less than $500 (?) amount of clothes from.

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Bras, yes? Clothes, no!

 

Tape salt to it.

5 Mar

The Hypochondriac has been faced with a dilemma – a spot of oil on her shirt (no, not from the seaweed, this was from the ramen noodles she consumed in conjunction with the seaweed and cheese.  Sidebar: she currently has the following on her desk to eat and not part of the hoard half eaten grapefruit, remains of seaweed, remains of ramen).

How do you think she would combat said spot?

Salt.

Specifically, salt taped to her shirt.

That she’s changed out twice already.

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Only a slight exaggeration.

This is a (daily) snack.

5 Mar

The Hypochondriac enjoys snacking on seaweed + Kiri soft cheese.  She especially loves eating it DURING MEETINGS.

Picture P.H. vomiting in her corner.

Nori_sheets_smalldownloadNo.