Can’t make this up.

P.H. has not fondly mentioned Mr. Vanilla in the past.  Recently, he seems to be on a mission to discredit P.H., generally tarnish her reputation at the School and whenever possible throw her under the proverbial bus.  P.H. does not let trivial things like this bother her, however, she would be remiss if she let this gem pass today.

As P.H. now occupies Mr. Vanilla’s old office (which, for the record became a lesson in immaturity and genuine annoyance as Mr. Vanilla attempted every stalling technique in the book) and has been for nearly 2 weeks, Mr. Vanilla dropped by this morning and inquired as to the whereabouts of his stapler.  P.H. raised an annoyed eyebrow in his direction and politely informed him, no, she did not have his stapler.

There are literally ONE THOUSAND OTHER STAPLERS YOU CAN HAVE. PH DID NOT TAKE YOURS.

Candidate X Strikes again.

Without any input or encouragement, P.H. received this e-mail over the weekend from dear Candidate X:

Hey HR team,

Hope u doing well! 

Just a follow up email regarding my application! Havnt heard from since a week, u ppl might hav been busy with the event of 5th sept at ur place!

Kindly plz let me knw!

 

Thanx

Candidate X

There are so many levels of which this is wrong, P.H. just wants to block all future conversation with him.

Never e-mail someone you want a job from like this.

Hey! 

Hoping a reply from you! Kindly plz let me know if I can work as I got my own family visa, u won’t need to worry about any sponsorship change! I am rather happy to stay in my family visa n work for you! I m just excited dunno y! I always come to XX to drop my bro for his classes n always had a dream to work in tht boundary!

Every form of communication is a way for you to turn off the recruiter.  P.H. is not a texting buddy, nor is she someone who appreciates this many (!).  P.H. shudders as this type of ‘speak’ dredges up old memories of the Hater.  Needless to say, this candidate will not get a response or an interview.

No. No. No.

“From my experience I believe nothing is impossible, as the first child with three younger siblings, I grew up as a husband to my mother and as elder to my siblings.”

This should NEVER be the opening statement of your CV.  EVER.