Archive | May, 2011

Whoo-freakin’-hoo.

30 May

PH’s region technically covers MENA.  Theoretically, this means she should get to travel to Sudan, Kenya, and Afghanistan.  In reality, it means that once every 6 months she gets to go to Abu Dhabi.  Abu Dhabi is a 90 minute ride away, and the guy who runs the office hates PH (it a mutual emotion).  PH does not see the logic behind the meaningless exercise.   She rarely interacts with the team as it is, and does not see what hanging around in a dingy office for the day is going to contribute to the overall success of the project.

Where is Bubbles?  Off for 3 weeks in Africa.

Also, PH’s mojo is completely off this week.  She needs to put some good karma in the environment.

Swapping one office...for another office.

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Frugality.

29 May

By nature, P.H. is very frugal and hates to see money wasted.   She hates it even more when the travel budget for her own department is tossed around like there’s no tomorrow.  The worst fact of all is that EVERY other single person in the department has traveled – except P.H.   The Director, who is a very good recruiter, but a terrible manager, likes to throw money around like it’s going out of style.  Never mind the company just went through a major round of redundancies.

Case in point, the Director’s upcoming ‘training’ sessions.  With new members of the team joining shortly (about those redundancies – apparently they don’t apply to P.H.’s department!), she has just proposed bringing over two outgoing personnel (from AUSTRALIA!) and another person from the U.K.  (for TEN DAYS!).

As we near June, P.H. wonders if there will be any funds left in October when she is so desperate to go to London for a legitimate conference and networking event.

We're going to need a lot more piggies.

PH’s office’s inability to eat quietly.

29 May

So, we already know P.H. suffers from 4S (Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome) which more or less means her brain interprets sounds differently.   What is normal for almost everyone can be unbearable for her.  Case in point, cutlery on a bowl or plate.  She cannot understand why people are incapable of eating without constantly jarring their utensils against the side of their bowls, etc.   She realizes the fault is mostly hers, but she wonders if for two seconds people could just NOT MAKE SO MUCH GODDAMN NOISE.

CLANG CLANG CLANG - SLURP.

The other favorite is the morning round of scrambled eggs or cereal in a bowl.

P.H. never thought food could make her so frustrated.

Thankful.

26 May

One year ago, P.H. was one month into her first month in hell – aka working for Mr. Boss.  She’s now been employed at her new role for 7 months (1 month longer than how long she lasted with Mr. Boss) and has to admit that, even though she’s making less money and has more responsibility, she is in a state of genuine happiness at her job.  There are things she would change, and the cast of characters is about to expand, but ultimately, she wouldn’t go back for anything.

Sometimes, even in the midst of the crazy and weird, she has to remind herself that really, things aren’t so bad.

Office Romances.

25 May

So, P.H. has never been involved in one.  She tends to think, ‘If both parties are single, no harm no foul.’  However, what happens when one of the parties are married?  In the past two weeks, it has become increasingly apparent to EVERYONE that there is some highly inappropriate action going on between Mr. IT and the Swede.  The Swede has recently come out of a major relationship and may be seeking male attention – however, in a city where men outnumber women by a considerable margin, why does she have to go for the married one that sits right behind her?  Too his discredit, Mr. IT is doing nothing to deter her behavior and what was once verbal flirting has moved towards obvious physical flirting.  As a married gal, P.H. wants to take them aside and say, ‘Cool it.  You are making everyone uncomfortable and you are both old enough to know better.  Furthermore, this can only end badly.’

Only they are definitely not this cute.

What say you, reader?  Do you know anyone in such a relationship?

The Knife.

8 May

Now this is a knife.

So, P.H. has another co-worker.  He is Australian, fighting the battle of the bulge.  He works in finance.  He likes anime.  He wears clothes that do not fit him properly. He eats the exact same meal every day.  He hates tomatoes.  Given social situations she’s seen him in, P.H. suspects he may be slightly autistic (Asperger’s).

He also plays with a knife all day at his desk.

Yes, you read that last line correctly.

Due to P.H.’s line of sight (thankfully), P.H. was unaware of the fixation until the MILF pointed it out.  Now, it’s all she can see.  Is it weird he likes to put the knife IN HIS MOUTH a lot of the time?  The knife isn’t super long – maybe 4 inches?  Still, call her crazy, but P.H. thinks that weapons are not acceptable in the workplace.

Sigh, P.H. does wish for a normal work environment.

Sex, you’re doing it wrong.

8 May

Apparently, P.H. has plenty of built up angst she needs to unload on the virtual world.  She appreciates your understanding.

So, the aforementioned Bubbles seems to have an issue keeping a man around.  As she is incapable of keeping the details of her sexual activities a secret for more than a week at the most, P.H. and the MILF wonder about the following truth.  Bubbles has slept once with three young men in the past 10 months.  None of them have moved to pursue a relationship with Bubbles.  And no, none of these hook ups were meant to be one night stands.   All were entered with the context of something more.

P.H. wonders, really wonders, how could one person be so very *bad* at intercourse that you wouldn’t get to at least try for a repeat performance or another chance?

No inner monologue.

8 May

One of P.H. teammate’s is a lovely young woman that P.H. and the MILF long ago dubbed ‘Bubbles.’  Bubbles, you will be shocked to know, is blonde.  After nearly 8 months of working together, P.H. grows a bit weary of one thing – that Bubbles involves EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN A 10 FOOT VICINITY in nearly every element of her life (included but not limited to such gripping topics as: her dealings with Matt the Twat, what to eat for lunch, what happened last night, what happened over the weekend, where she bought the clothes she’s wearing). There is simply no respite whatsoever from the constant onslaught of details in Bubbles’ life.  P.H. has her own theories about why this is (mainly, loneliness).

P.H. puts it to the people.  Do you work with a similar personality?  Have you found a way to politely say ‘thanks, but I don’t care, please stop talking.’

Constructive Criticism.

8 May

P.H. is back.  She has survived a round of redundancies and feels the need to start posting a bit more.  First of all, she had a scary thought the other day – nearly a year ago she started work with Mr. Boss.  Please allow P.H. a moment to suppress a shudder.

Moving on…

P.H., a former EA and writer, is a stickler for punctuation and grammar.  Her current boss, The Director, has consistent difficult with spacing and spelling in her e-mails.  P.H. would go so far as to say 9 out 10 e-mails have some sort of obvious and glaring error in them.  When The Director spelled the managing director’s name wrong, P.H. thought this was a good time to send a quick ‘did you know about automatic spell check?’ e-mail.  The e-mail was sent in good spirit and not to cut down The Director – merely to alert her to the fact that there were some issues.

Her response?

Thank you for your comments P.H.

You may also find it beneficial to review the grammar and punctuation in your  e mail

Regards
The Director

Does The Director really hate commas that much?