Awkward, Party of 12.

So, there are some inherently weird things going on at the new office:

1.       The rather blue LED lights which serve no purpose and generally create an atmosphere of pathetic discotheque near the entrance.

2.       The fact that P.H. has been asked to record the greeting for the phone message.  Repeatedly.  P.H. could care less about the absolute minute details and versions of making this recording.  Furthermore, she has no idea why the RECEPTIONIST (the Hater) would not be asked to fulfill this duty.  In addition, P.H. WILL NOT WORK HERE MUCH LONGER, but apparently, her voice will go on (and on).

3.       There is a giant hole in the floor outside one of the offices.

And yet we moved anyway.

4.       As everything was supposed to be made soundproof, rather the opposite has happened and it is quite easy to hear other’s conversations throughout the office.

5.     The puppies (who P.H. now shares an office with) have complained about the following (thus far – total time in office is less than 15 hours):

• Lack of coffee providers
• Lack of food providers
• How long the food takes to arrive when ordered
• How long it takes to park
• The positioning of their desks
• The air conditioning

...? P.H. cannot understand their function. It's a bit like working in an aquarium.

The gloves are off.

P.H. knew Mr. Boss was going to act out.  Last night things got started with inane e-mails about his flights to London (P.H. had previously sent him 2 e-mails on the subject) and returning his checks (P.H. is surprised he remembered she had them).  Then, there was this gem from earlier today…

HI P.H. and Hater,

Have you both looked at my calendar for tomorrow?  Do you guys notice that obviously I can’t be in three* places at the same time?  Hater I have repeatedly** asked you to consult with P.H. when I am to be in a meeting with the Puppies.  I would appreciate better coordination.

*Two.

**Once.

All Mr. Boss had to do is pick up the phone to get clarification from P.H. about how tomorrow afternoon is going to work.

And in tomorrow’s struggle, P.H. and Co. are moving offices!!!  She awaits the disaster and stress with glee.

New office details! (and a$$holery).

P.H. sees a light at the end of the tunnel.  Today she did a walk through of the new offices.  Ironically, while she will still be sharing a (bigger) office with three other people – it is technically a step up and the view is kind of awesome.  P.H. will be housed with the investment team, which, no doubt will be the source of some new and interesting stories for this blog.  The Talker will have her own enclave, and best of all…

…the Hater will be at reception (far away from P.H.).  The Hater does not know this fact yet.  The Hater will undoubtedly freak out when this occurs.  P.H. eagerly looks forward and anticipates this day.

It does not look like this right now.

Unfortunately, given the timing of the move, it appears P.H. will have to do some actual work – with the Hater leaving for a month, everything related to the move will be on P.H.’s shoulders.   P.H. knows better than to ask or receive any offer of help from the Hater, so she’s a bit intimidated about the next 30 days, but a trip to Amsterdam is waiting at the end of it.

Finally, a note from one of the Investment Puppies:

“What’s the delay in actioning this?”

‘This’ refers to a meeting invitation which he has already been copied on and knows all the details of.  The ‘action’ P.H. needed to take was to hit ‘send’ for a calendar invite.  The time between the initial instruction and this e-mail?  Approximately 90 minutes.

Can you feel the sarcasm in P.H.’s response?

My apologies – I was at the new offices doing a walk through Super Boss and The Talker, preparing for our move next month.

What she wanted to write?

Asshat, you know when the frakking meeting is – get over yourself.

Love and kisses,

P.H.